I came to UK in the 80s, went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a family that going abroad was like going to the market for us. I lived with my sister-in-law who I happened to have appeared to as a burden at the time. I had no one to take me out as a child, didn't enjoy McDonalds's treats, remember been bought KFC once by my mother's younger sister who was in UK at the time. Most days I had to walk from Pembury estate, Hackney to Stamford hill because I had no transport fee. An uncle got me free school meals from the government so I always had lunch at school but other meals hhhhmmm not guaranteed....
No one ever asked me how I was doing in school even thou I was a failure, never disclosed my report sheet because my results were always 'U- Unclassified' worse than F9. I lived at the expense of few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange of me seating on their laps whilst they used my unmentionables as a toy. On few occasions my immediate families would give me £5, £10 but NONE EVER TOOK ME ON AS HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITY. One glorious day, a brother of mine took me on when he noticed that I have been associating with friends that were smoking and sexing at the age of 12,13.14,15 but due to malicious beating everyday I had no choice other than to run away from his house. ....
I became streetwise, smoking heavily at the age of 11/12, did my first abortion at the age of 14/15. I was unable to contact my mother because I had no access to telephone moreover i didn't know how to use the phones then. I lived with a Jamaican friend who was few years older than me and we had a man friend aged 50t whom was impotent but would pay our rent whenever we allowed him to lick/suck us. Hhhhmmmm I'm sobbing as I'm writing this; I don't know why my spirit has led me to share this horrific and pathetic story on www but I am sure it is to bless someone outthere so I am not ashamed of letting it out because someone outthere will think twice before making the mistake my family made.
Myself and friends began to find it easy to be befriending men for money at night clubs (Golivers, Petter Stringfellows etc) at that very young age in which I found disgusting but was never slept with but they molested my body orally. I can't even carry on expressing my bitter past experiences because I have learnt to see them as my strengths that made me who I am today....
The koko of this post is this.... Now in UK we see Nigerian children killing, shooting, stabbing, selling drugs, Molesting etc and we wonder why they are ridiculing our darling country's name.... Hhhhmmmm it is not the kids fault it is the fault of the parents that weren't ready to prioritise their priorities. I can't blame my mother and neither can I blame my father because they don't like to get involved in the way our brothers and sisters were bringing us up. They believed when you give a goat to someone, you let go of the rope, least do they knew that their darling daughter had become something else..... You may be boosting that your child lives in London, America etc but do you ever ask yourself how life is treating them where they are
So many parents in Nigeria believe the field is greener on the other side forgetting that NO ONE CAN TRAIN YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU CAN EXCEPT LOVING & GOD FEARING PEOPLE. In UK so many Nigerian parents have misplaced their priorities, they rather work 24/7, make all monies to build mansions in Nigeria at the expense of their children's lives. So many Nigerian parents in UK don't even attend parents's evening at their kids school, some can't even help their kids with homework. Some belief their kids are at home and they are safe not knowing who is there with them. Some would rather spoil their kids with money & expensive outfits instead of investing quality time in them.
Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your own kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God sent hours, making sterling, dollars, euro, naira etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood. This is one of our bad irresponsible cultures, most children in Nigeria were brought up by housemaids/gateman/next door/grandmother/ neighbour etc. Nigerians don't believe in family planning rather they will have so many children and start using them to hawk sweets, bread etc after school...
Having a child is not by force, God did not say YOU MUST HAVE CHILDREN, YES HE STATED 'MULTIPLY' but he didn't mean we should do it to suffer them. Having children does not mean you will live your life joyfully and it doesn't give you a place in heaven either, instead your children may make you to miss heaven if care is not taken.I am a product of a neglected, nonchalant, cultural upbringing and I WILL NEVER WISH IT ON MY GREATEST ENEMY BECAUSE I HAD IT ROUGH AND IN SADNESS. Let us stop being selfish for ones and stop pushing our problems/burdens on others. Your child should be with you no matter how poor or rich you are and you must teach them in the ways of God, NOT YOUR OWN STANDARDS....
Some parents in Nigeria don't mind if their children are sleeping with big men for money, it is saddddddd
BY:ABEFE IBADIARAN
No one ever asked me how I was doing in school even thou I was a failure, never disclosed my report sheet because my results were always 'U- Unclassified' worse than F9. I lived at the expense of few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange of me seating on their laps whilst they used my unmentionables as a toy. On few occasions my immediate families would give me £5, £10 but NONE EVER TOOK ME ON AS HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITY. One glorious day, a brother of mine took me on when he noticed that I have been associating with friends that were smoking and sexing at the age of 12,13.14,15 but due to malicious beating everyday I had no choice other than to run away from his house. ....
I became streetwise, smoking heavily at the age of 11/12, did my first abortion at the age of 14/15. I was unable to contact my mother because I had no access to telephone moreover i didn't know how to use the phones then. I lived with a Jamaican friend who was few years older than me and we had a man friend aged 50t whom was impotent but would pay our rent whenever we allowed him to lick/suck us. Hhhhmmmm I'm sobbing as I'm writing this; I don't know why my spirit has led me to share this horrific and pathetic story on www but I am sure it is to bless someone outthere so I am not ashamed of letting it out because someone outthere will think twice before making the mistake my family made.
Myself and friends began to find it easy to be befriending men for money at night clubs (Golivers, Petter Stringfellows etc) at that very young age in which I found disgusting but was never slept with but they molested my body orally. I can't even carry on expressing my bitter past experiences because I have learnt to see them as my strengths that made me who I am today....
The koko of this post is this.... Now in UK we see Nigerian children killing, shooting, stabbing, selling drugs, Molesting etc and we wonder why they are ridiculing our darling country's name.... Hhhhmmmm it is not the kids fault it is the fault of the parents that weren't ready to prioritise their priorities. I can't blame my mother and neither can I blame my father because they don't like to get involved in the way our brothers and sisters were bringing us up. They believed when you give a goat to someone, you let go of the rope, least do they knew that their darling daughter had become something else..... You may be boosting that your child lives in London, America etc but do you ever ask yourself how life is treating them where they are
So many parents in Nigeria believe the field is greener on the other side forgetting that NO ONE CAN TRAIN YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU CAN EXCEPT LOVING & GOD FEARING PEOPLE. In UK so many Nigerian parents have misplaced their priorities, they rather work 24/7, make all monies to build mansions in Nigeria at the expense of their children's lives. So many Nigerian parents in UK don't even attend parents's evening at their kids school, some can't even help their kids with homework. Some belief their kids are at home and they are safe not knowing who is there with them. Some would rather spoil their kids with money & expensive outfits instead of investing quality time in them.
Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your own kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God sent hours, making sterling, dollars, euro, naira etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood. This is one of our bad irresponsible cultures, most children in Nigeria were brought up by housemaids/gateman/next door/grandmother/ neighbour etc. Nigerians don't believe in family planning rather they will have so many children and start using them to hawk sweets, bread etc after school...
Having a child is not by force, God did not say YOU MUST HAVE CHILDREN, YES HE STATED 'MULTIPLY' but he didn't mean we should do it to suffer them. Having children does not mean you will live your life joyfully and it doesn't give you a place in heaven either, instead your children may make you to miss heaven if care is not taken.I am a product of a neglected, nonchalant, cultural upbringing and I WILL NEVER WISH IT ON MY GREATEST ENEMY BECAUSE I HAD IT ROUGH AND IN SADNESS. Let us stop being selfish for ones and stop pushing our problems/burdens on others. Your child should be with you no matter how poor or rich you are and you must teach them in the ways of God, NOT YOUR OWN STANDARDS....
Some parents in Nigeria don't mind if their children are sleeping with big men for money, it is saddddddd
BY:ABEFE IBADIARAN
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